


Night Flights

by zillah37 (visionshadows)



Series: Oranges and Vanilla [3]
Category: David Bowie (Musician), NSYNC, Popslash
Genre: Cheating, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-05 01:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/717176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionshadows/pseuds/zillah37





	Night Flights

The phone call comes as a surprise to me. It's been a few months since we've talked. He's been in LA all summer trying to record an album and I've been in New York teaching Alex how to play the guitar.

His voice sounds the same, but tired. I look at the clock and see that it's about 5 am where he is.

"I need your help," he murmurs into the phone. I can almost see him rubbing at his eyes and reaching for a cup of coffee, strong and black. His first cup always is. "You're the only person I can think of to call." 

I smile at that even though he can't see me. "What kind of help do you need? You're not calling me to kill someone for you, are you?"

He laughs, his famous giggle that makes his eyes crinkle up. "Nope. No death involved. I promise."

"Well then. What can I do for you, my dear?"

He's quiet for a moment, the nickname I used to use for him so long ago falling heavily into the air. He clears his throat.

"I need you to come to LA. I need a good producer for one track that I'm having problems with."

I freeze, completely surprised by that. "You want me to produce you?"

"I've wanted you to produce my stuff for years," his voice is soft, honest. "I just didn't know how you would take it since we didn't talk anymore."

"You've had good producers," I know that I'm going to say yes already and I reach for the calendar, looking at my schedule. There's nothing for the next two weeks until Alex's dance recital on the 19th. "Especially when you just did it yourself, JC." 

"Yes but I want you," his voice is pleading. "Please, David. It's just one song."

It is just one song but it's one song I never expected to have. One song where I get to produce Josh Chasez and see my name next to his.

"When do you need me?"

 

 

The plane is quiet, the cabin lights turned down so passengers can sleep if they so choose. I took an 11:30 flight out of JFK to get to LA tonight for JC. I wonder a little why I am being so accommodating to him when I make Trent schedule time a month before he wants me there.

I suppose it's because I'm still in love with JC and I've never been in love with Trent. I promised Alex up and down that I would be back in time for her dance recital and she and Mom would have a great time in New York without me. She finally let me go with a petulant look on her face, making me promise to bring her a copy of the song we did together.

Iman had smiled softly and kissed me goodbye. She is an amazing woman and oftentimes I wonder how she puts up with me. She and Ali, Bono's wife, joke that they should start a club because their husbands slept with each other.

In reality, I'm the only man who Bono has slept with since he and Edge ended. He's the only man I've slept with since JC and I ended it. And we haven't slept with each other in a long time.

Iman had joked upon my leaving to go see JC that she and Ali should offer Joey membership in their little club.

Honestly, I don't know if she's really joking or not.

I'm still confused about why JC wants me for this. He sent me a copy of what he had with a note that said 'It needs to be better.'

I've listened to it about a dozen times, twice with Alex, before I got on the plane.

It's him and a guitar, very rough but beautiful all the same.

I put on the CD again and close my eyes.

I drift off to sleep listening to his voice.

 

 

I am met at the airport by Joey surprisingly. He is sitting in one of the plastic chairs, wearing a baseball cap to hide his receding hairline. He looks as exhausted as I feel.

Joey smiles when he sees me, standing up and walking over.

"David," Joey hugs me loosely. "Thank you for coming."

I hug him back and let him take my bag. He looks good, happy. I can see the silver that is just touching his temples and lines radiating from his eyes when he smiles. It makes him look comfortable.

"I can't say no to him."

Joey pauses for a moment, then nods. "He knows that. He apologizes for not being here to get you himself. He's on baby duty tonight."

I stop, surprised. "Baby duty?" I'm sure JC would have told me if he and Joey had another child, right?

"Justin's kids," says Joey quickly, sensing my panic. "He and Britney are on vacation and since we're in town we took them instead of them taking the kids to her mother. His youngest, Jeremy, is only four months old."

"Oh," I breath a sigh of relief and start walking again. "Had me frightened there. Thought maybe I missed something."

"No," Joey shakes his head. "Josh and I are quite happy with one child. Brianna's enough of a handful for the two of us."

I give him a little smile. "I can understand that. Alex is the same way."

"When the two of them get together," Joey laughs. "It's like a tornado hits our house."

"Imagine what it's going to be like when they're teenagers."

"Let's just hope they're still friends," Joey's looking at me seriously, knowing that their friendship isn't threatened by anything on his end, but on my end...

I'm glad that Alex and Brianna are friends. They get along fabulously and because of them, I get to see JC a lot more. He and Joey have been over for dinner numerous times and we constantly transport the girls back and forth to the others home for sleepovers.

But I'm just wondering how long it can last; how much longer I can last seeing JC and never getting to touch him or really do more than smile at him.

I don't want to have to take my daughter's best friend away from her because my feelings are hurt.

I hope I never have to.

"The car is over here," Joey points and breaks me out of my musings.

Joey looks at me for a long moment before getting in the car and starting it up. I'm afraid to ask what he is thinking.

We make small talk because that's what Joey and I can do.

That's how we've always related to each other.

 

 

I'm woken up by belligerent screaming. The sun is streaming in through the drawn curtains of the guest bedroom Joey put me in last night. JC decorated this room and I can tell. It has his touches all through it right down to the sleigh bed and fluffy white comforter.

He had the same type of bed in his house years before. Idly I wonder if it's the same bed.

I shower and get dressed before I make my appearance. My hair, which is long again, is pulled back into a wet ponytail and I just wear a sweater and jeans, no shoes.

I follow the sounds that come from the house and end up in the kitchen where JC is bouncing a baby on his knee and smiling happily. He's still in pajamas and is wearing his glasses, looking scruffy and comfortable.

He looks up when he sees me and his face lights up. I swallow and smile back, sitting at the table next to a little boy that's a spitting image of Justin Timberlake except his eyes are brown. He looks up at me with those wide eyes and solemnly takes another bite of his cereal.

"David," JC leans over and kisses my cheek, smiling at me. "I'm so glad you made it safely. I was worried."

I kiss him back and take the offered mug of coffee from a woman whom I don't know. She goes back to the stove, making breakfast. I realize that she's their housekeeper and I wonder why they have one here and not in New York. 

"No need to worry, my dear," I sip my coffee, surprised that she knew exactly how I drank it. JC must have told her. "I got here just fine."

JC smiles and leans back, shifting the baby in his arms and giving him his bottle. "Have you met Justin's kids before?"

I shake my head, looking at the little boy sitting next to me again.

"That's Jaden but we all call him Jay," says JC, smiling at the little boy. "And I'm holding Jeremy. Joey's got Jacob with him. They went grocery shopping."

"Hello, Jay," I say politely, holding out my hand to the little boy. "I'm David." Jay looks at me and then at my hand.

"He's shy," JC says as an explanation.

"Ah," I nod and turn my attention back to JC just as a plate with a bagel and cream cheese is placed in front of me. "Um. Thank you."

"I assume you still eat that for breakfast?" asks JC, wiping up a little of the formula that spills out of Jeremy's mouth.

"Um. Yes," I take a bite even though cream cheese is something that's on that pesky restricted foods list my doctor gave me. "Thank you."

"When Joey and Jacob get back we can head to the studio," JC says to me. "I'll play you the masters of what I have for the album so far when we get there."

"Fantastic," I say around a mouthful of bagel. It tastes fantastic and I try to remember the last time I had cream cheese. I can't. "Where's Brianna?"

"Ballet lessons. Marina will pick her up when she's done."

I assume the woman who is puttering around the kitchen is Marina but we haven't been introduced. The house is warm and cozy, quite like their home in New York. I watch as JC continues to feed Jeremy, burping him easily, picking up his own mug of coffee to sip it as his eyes never leave the baby's face.

I feel like I am interrupting his life even if he asked me here.

I don't belong here.

 

 

I keep my eyes closed as I listen to the music JC is playing. The album as a whole sounds beautiful, well-rounded and mature. His voice is strong and clear and he sings with all the passion he's always sang with.

But he's right. The one song he's asked me here to work on isn't working with the rest of the album. It's going to take a little time for me to figure out what to do with it to make it mesh with the album's vibe.

The music stops and JC leans forward to turn off the track. He looks at me expectantly, his eyes still hidden behind his glasses. Wire-framed and small. They look fantastic and I'm oddly transfixed by the idea of him in glasses.

I'm staring and he clears his throat.

"Oh," I cough, nodding. "Right. I see what you mean about the song not fitting. Where do you want to start?"

JC wrinkles his forehead a little, obviously not sure of what I was asking. "With the vocals mostly."

"Okay," I sit forward and start to reset the volumes on the board, all business now. "Then lets get started on them."

JC watches me intently for a moment before he gets up and I hear a lighter spark. I turn to look as he lights candles in the room, the scent of vanilla immediately filling the room.

I sniff and purse my lips, not saying anything as he walks into the booth, picking up the headphones and putting them on. I turn on the mic so he can hear me.

"I want you to sing it an octave lower."

JC's eyes widen. "What? But it's not written for that."

I smile sweetly. "Just do it. I know you can."

I miss the murmured grumbles as I lean forward to start the track again. JC waits patiently and enters when he's supposed to, his voice low and silky as he sings.

His eyes are closed and he keeps his hand on the microphone, holding it protectively as he sings with passion. The octave dip is a good idea and I can feel electricity tickling up my spine as I listen to him sing.

The track is over far too soon and I don't want the spell to end. JC's eyes open and meet mine. Neither of us say anything and he licks his lips.

"How was that?"

I shake my head a little. "G..good. It's a start."

He gives me a brilliant smile, adjusting his glasses. I bend over the console and try to remember why I thought this was a good idea.

 

 

I feel out of place here but I can't make myself leave. I wander around, drifting in and out of the rooms. I watch them as they go through their lives being the perfect family without even trying.

JC takes care of the children in the morning while Joey run errands and takes Brianna to ballet lessons and Jacob to play group. Marina makes breakfast and picks up Brianna. Joey comes home with groceries and a happy Jacob and takes care of the kids for the rest of the day while JC and I disappear to the studio for hours, only to re-emerge at night.

I feel old when I am around them for some reason. I've never felt old around JC before.

It's not a nice feeling.

Joey and Brianna are supposed to be heading back to New York in a few weeks because the summer is drawing to a close and school will be starting soon. She's still a spitting image of her father, right down to the smile and the warm brown eyes.

I talk to Alex every night, listening as she tells me about her days. I have six more days before her dance recital and I promise her up and down that I will be there. I won't miss it.

Iman talks to me softly, listening as I pour my heart to her about how wrong it feels to be here but how amazing the music is turning out to be. She soothes me with her loving words, understanding in ways I am grateful for.

I sleep fitfully at night, wishing that I wasn't alone.

 

 

The touching happens unconsciously now; neither of us even think before an arm slides around a waist or a hand presses to the small of a back. One night, JC ends up next to me in the studio, listening with his eyes closed, and his head presses to my shoulder, his breath warm against my neck.

I shiver then and he pulls away, smiling sheepishly.

I smile back and we continue working.

 

 

"Don't touch anything," says Justin firmly, sitting Jacob down on the couch. Jeremy is balanced against his shoulder and he turns to look at the booth. I wonder briefly where Jaden is and assume he is with his mother.

"Don't I even get a hello?" asks Justin jokingly.

JC hurries out of the booth, leaving me alone in there, my hand on the headphones. I watch as JC hugs Justin tightly. Slowly, I take off the headphones and leave the booth turning off the tapes and resetting the mixing board.

"Here," I say softly, holding out my arms for Jeremy. Justin looks at me for a long moment before handing Jeremy over to me. He turns back to JC, putting his hands on JC's sides.

"You been eating?"

JC will never change and Justin knows that. Recording leads to him forgetting to eat and he's right in suspecting that I won't remember either. Joey takes care of him and he eats and I eat too. But Justin isn't asking about me.

JC nods quickly, his eyes darting around the room. "We finished it, Justin. It's fantastic."

"Then let me hear it," Justin says, sitting down and pulling Jacob onto his lap, wrapping his arms around the little boy. All of Justin's kids look just like him. If it wasn't for the brown eyes there would be no resemblance to Britney at all.

"I'll put it on," I say, shifting Jeremy. JC doesn't say anything and I know it's because he's nervous showing this to Justin. I'm nervous showing it to Justin because Justin is the producer on the rest of the album and part of the sudden vacation he and Britney had taken has to do with this song. Which I took from him.

The song plays and no emotion crosses Justin's face as he listens. Jacob squirms in his lap and JC bites his fingernails. I stare at the board, patting Jeremy's back lightly.

The music ends and still Justin doesn't move.

"Daddy," Jacob whispers. "I wanna go see Mommy."

Justin nods, releasing his hold on Jacob. We all watch as he runs from the room. Justin turns to look back at us. JC's pressed up against me now, one hand curled on my shoulder. I can hear his quick breaths in my ear and he trembles, waiting for Justin's approval. All these years as a success on his own and he still can't bear having Justin criticize his music.

Justin watches us for another moment before dropping his gaze to the floor. "It's beautiful and it's exactly what I couldn't do with it."

Justin looks up again, his eyes meeting mine. "I didn't expect to hear you singing on it though."

I don't say anything, just meeting Justin's gaze. I feel JC relax a little against me.

"I wanted it. He could provide some of the necessary harmonies I wanted," JC says confidently. "And he was here when I decided I wanted that."

"Well," Justin coughs a little, stands up. "Then I suppose it's a good thing I suggested you call him."

JC backs away quickly when my body tenses at that. Justin's idea? JC didn't want me here? I hand Jeremy to Justin and leave the room without another word.

 

 

There's a soft knock on my door and I ignore it, throwing clothes into my bag, wondering where my grey T-shirt is.

"David?" I look up when JC opens the door but don't say a word, balling up socks angrily.

"Look," JC shuts the door, fidgeting. He starts to twirl a lock of hair around his finger. "I...I can explain."

"Explain what? Because I think I got it. You and Justin couldn't fix it. He said to call me. You did. I got it, okay. Thanks for making me feel so important."

He grabs me, his fingers wrapping around my wrist. "It wasn't like that."

I pull away. "Fine. Whatever." I walk away from him.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me!"

"Why not?" I turn back, shouting now. "Don't I get to be the one to walk away for once?"

"What are you talking about?"

This needs to be done I tell myself. This needs to finally be done.

"You walked away from me, from us! You didn't even give us a chance, JC!"

"What did you want me to do?" He's close again, his eyes flashing with anger. "I couldn't stay with you forever, David, no matter how much I loved you."

"You cut me out of your life! You got married!"

JC grabs my shoulders, shaking me. "You were already married! You never would have divorced her. I could never be your one and only."

I'm quiet because he's right. Even when I was with him, I never thought of leaving her.

"I couldn't spend my life being your dirty little secret, David," his voice is softened. A hand touches my downturned cheek. "I love myself too much to do that."

"I loved you." My voice is weak, broken. I suddenly feel my age, all 62 years crashing down on me. I sink to the bed, shaking as I bury my face in my hands and sob.

"I'm sorry," JC whispers. Strong, gentle arms cradle me, rocking slowly. I don't know how it happens but he's kissing me, thumbs brushing tears away. I can taste the salt from my own tears as I kiss him back, wrapping my arms around him.

Clothes come off without words, the room filled with the soft wet sounds of our lips and the slide of bodies against each other. I moan and arch up as he enters me, slowly and gently.

It's been so long and yet it feels like yesterday when we were last together like this. His hair is brushing my cheek and I brush it away, kissing his red mouth.

I fall asleep with JC tangled around me, his warm breath tickling my neck.

 

 

I wake up with a start, looking over at the clock quickly. It blinks 4am, mocking me. JC is still sleeping soundly next to me. I shake violently and look at him for a long time, memorizing his face.

This will be the last time I see him.

I don't let myself think again until I'm safely on the plane.

I hide my face as I cry.

When the plane lands, Iman is there, having been alerted by a phone call from Joey. I don't want to know what he said to her. She gives me a sad smile and helps me into the car. I tell her I'm not taking his calls and go to bed.

I decide when Alex climbs into bed with me and hugs me close that I'm never leaving my family again.

This is where I've always belonged.


End file.
